Life As A SAHM
You know that popular saying that before you judge someone you should "walk a mile in their shoes"? Well, I just slipped on a pair of a woman-who-stays-at-home-with-her-child and to my surprise, they fit. I have become a stay at home mom and it is not at all what I had thought it would be.
I know stay at home mothers and I am sorry to say this but, I thought you were all crazy and a bit lazy. I thought that you were all intelligent women who had a lot to offer the world by being a part of it, rather than being shut in your house taking care of children all day. I thought that your children could entertain themselves while you chatted on the phone for hours and gave yourselves facials. I was wrong and I am sorry. I have realized that you are being the most productive member there is in society, you are a teacher, you are a student, you are a nurse, you are a chef; you are so much more than most give you credit for because all of these different shoes you wear are all labeled under one category: Mother. You are being completely selfless every day. All of your hard work, money and time is being put into molding and creating someone who you are hoping will do more in society than you ever could. And that makes you simply amazing.
I am only going to speak through my own observations and feelings in this blog because I have lived on both sides of this ongoing debate of who has it worse; working mothers or stay at home mothers and I have to say that there are no winners, but by far the most rewarding of the two is the latter.
I returned to work after having my child. I thought it would some how make me a better mother because I was providing money. Actually, I was providing the money it cost to send him to daycare 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. By the time I would get home some nights he was already asleep. I was sacrificing time with my son and was instead sitting behind a desk where the only thing anyone cared about was if you made your goal each month (which I was very successful at), but I wasn't appreciated. I wasn't given any vote of confidence. I was made to feel as though I wasn't needed there. It felt as though I was so unappreciated as a person from 8:30-5:00. That changed the minute I would see my boy and be greeted with the biggest smile I had ever seen. My days were meant to be spent with him. So I traded in sitting behind a desk all day and talking about advertising to people who didn't even want our services to running around at a park with someone who wanted me more than anything. I traded up.
I am not just an employee number at a corporation any longer, I am a teacher to the most curious student. The chef to the most entertaining food critic. The singer to the most adoring fan. And it is a hard job, but it's the most rewarding job I have ever had in all of my 15 years of working. I'm paid in kisses and hugs and high fives! Although this compensation may not keep the lights on, it is the best decision for our family for this moment. Will we fall on difficult times? I'm sure of it. Will we have make sacrifices? Of course. But in the end, it gives me great comfort to know that I am raising my son. I am not handing him off to be with someone we deem a "suitable" replacement for me.
It also makes me feel proud. I am proud to be staying at home. I am proud to have a husband who supports this decision. I am proud of him and how much and how hard he works to make sure we can continue this new direction in our life together. We had always had the plan that with two children, I would have to stay home because we honestly could never afford to have two children in daycare. But we found it selfish to wait years and years to give our son a sibling because of something so ridiculous as daycare expenses. It didn't seem worth it to continue living our lives revolving around who we could afford to pay to raise our children when I could be the one to do it. And let's be honest, no one could afford a mother.
My husband read an article recently which I lost somewhere in this great, World Wide Web... but it was an article from a husband about his wife and how he could never afford her. He and the children needed her not only because she was their mother but because they simply could never afford to hire all the people they would need to in order to fill her role, had she gone back to work. I believe it was broken down relatively close to what is below:
And the list may have gone on and on but this is the basic need for every household with children. Sometimes it's more financially and physically and emotionally beneficial to be a stay at home mother.
And this could go both ways. The men could be just as important as women in this situation but in my case, I find it so sexy to have a man who does what he needs to to take care of and provide for his wife and kids. (Even if I don't say it often and even if exhaustion prevents me from showing it, it is my honest feeling.)
So life has done a 360 for us. A lot of adjustments will be made and a lot of work will go into this new stage of our life but I am really looking forward to it. I find this to be my purpose. I mean what else are we here for if not to multiply and live? Nothing is more important than family.
I know stay at home mothers and I am sorry to say this but, I thought you were all crazy and a bit lazy. I thought that you were all intelligent women who had a lot to offer the world by being a part of it, rather than being shut in your house taking care of children all day. I thought that your children could entertain themselves while you chatted on the phone for hours and gave yourselves facials. I was wrong and I am sorry. I have realized that you are being the most productive member there is in society, you are a teacher, you are a student, you are a nurse, you are a chef; you are so much more than most give you credit for because all of these different shoes you wear are all labeled under one category: Mother. You are being completely selfless every day. All of your hard work, money and time is being put into molding and creating someone who you are hoping will do more in society than you ever could. And that makes you simply amazing.
I am only going to speak through my own observations and feelings in this blog because I have lived on both sides of this ongoing debate of who has it worse; working mothers or stay at home mothers and I have to say that there are no winners, but by far the most rewarding of the two is the latter.
I returned to work after having my child. I thought it would some how make me a better mother because I was providing money. Actually, I was providing the money it cost to send him to daycare 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. By the time I would get home some nights he was already asleep. I was sacrificing time with my son and was instead sitting behind a desk where the only thing anyone cared about was if you made your goal each month (which I was very successful at), but I wasn't appreciated. I wasn't given any vote of confidence. I was made to feel as though I wasn't needed there. It felt as though I was so unappreciated as a person from 8:30-5:00. That changed the minute I would see my boy and be greeted with the biggest smile I had ever seen. My days were meant to be spent with him. So I traded in sitting behind a desk all day and talking about advertising to people who didn't even want our services to running around at a park with someone who wanted me more than anything. I traded up.
I am not just an employee number at a corporation any longer, I am a teacher to the most curious student. The chef to the most entertaining food critic. The singer to the most adoring fan. And it is a hard job, but it's the most rewarding job I have ever had in all of my 15 years of working. I'm paid in kisses and hugs and high fives! Although this compensation may not keep the lights on, it is the best decision for our family for this moment. Will we fall on difficult times? I'm sure of it. Will we have make sacrifices? Of course. But in the end, it gives me great comfort to know that I am raising my son. I am not handing him off to be with someone we deem a "suitable" replacement for me.
It also makes me feel proud. I am proud to be staying at home. I am proud to have a husband who supports this decision. I am proud of him and how much and how hard he works to make sure we can continue this new direction in our life together. We had always had the plan that with two children, I would have to stay home because we honestly could never afford to have two children in daycare. But we found it selfish to wait years and years to give our son a sibling because of something so ridiculous as daycare expenses. It didn't seem worth it to continue living our lives revolving around who we could afford to pay to raise our children when I could be the one to do it. And let's be honest, no one could afford a mother.
My husband read an article recently which I lost somewhere in this great, World Wide Web... but it was an article from a husband about his wife and how he could never afford her. He and the children needed her not only because she was their mother but because they simply could never afford to hire all the people they would need to in order to fill her role, had she gone back to work. I believe it was broken down relatively close to what is below:
Expenses:
Daycare
Car Service
Cook
Personal Assistant
Cleaning Service
Financial Planner
Tutor
And the list may have gone on and on but this is the basic need for every household with children. Sometimes it's more financially and physically and emotionally beneficial to be a stay at home mother.
And this could go both ways. The men could be just as important as women in this situation but in my case, I find it so sexy to have a man who does what he needs to to take care of and provide for his wife and kids. (Even if I don't say it often and even if exhaustion prevents me from showing it, it is my honest feeling.)
So life has done a 360 for us. A lot of adjustments will be made and a lot of work will go into this new stage of our life but I am really looking forward to it. I find this to be my purpose. I mean what else are we here for if not to multiply and live? Nothing is more important than family.
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