Why I Want To Quit Social Media
I had AIM in high school, my first cell phone at age 18, Myspace when I began college and when I was nearing 21, I discovered Facebook. Life completely changed as our social networks developed into what they are now and I slowly changed with them.
I was a social, independent, young woman with close relationships with my friends and family and a boyfriend at the time. I thought I was a pretty lucky girl who had it all, including the grades and a fun, part-time college job. What I didn't realize was that the more that others shared on their social media accounts, mainly Facebook, the more I would feel inadequate in all aspects of life. If I got a B on an exam, someone else would post their stellar A. If I posted a picture of myself at a party, someone would post a picture of themselves at two parties. If I said I loved my boyfriend, someone shared their engagement announcement. I could not seem to keep up with everyone else. Soon the life I did have didn't seem to be quite as romantic, exciting, fun or perfect as the rest of my Facebook friends'. And that thought process has stayed with me ever since.
Of course I know I'm blessed. I am very lucky. I could also be happy if I stayed away from the social media happiness of others. Notice I didn't say the happiness of others instead I am being very specific when I say the social media happiness of others. The exaggerated, in-your-face, fake happiness that people post to their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other forms of social networking sites and apps. I look around at my life some days; of my husband laughing with our son, sipping my morning coffee and feeling our second baby kicking and thinking "this is an amazing life". Then I just as quickly hop onto Facebook where I see a picture of that same moment I am having but in a nicer house or on a beach or everyone in matching outfits. I instantly reflect on how I could have had that same moment I was so happy in being even better.
This is what social media does. It makes people compete with each other rather than connect with one another. It does the opposite of what it was intended to do and it's because of our need to be the best. To have our children be the best. To have our lives be the best... even if it's forced...and that has changed social media's purpose. I would love to see some honesty. I tried this out for myself to see if it's something I am even capable of doing after years of "faking it". When it was time to do our second baby announcement, we had my cousin take some pictures of us. We ironed our shirts, did our hair, wore our new shoes and were all set to take those same exact pictures we have seen a million times over our Facebook walls over the years. You know, the ones of the children looking like living dolls as Mommy and Daddy look at each other lovingly, hands placed over their unborn child. In reality, my son didn't want to stay still, my stepson was distracted by my cousin's baby, and my husband and I were yelling and chasing both of them to get into the picture.
When the proofs came back, there were some greats shots that you see posted everywhere, but then there was one that summed up the truth of that entire day. My son was busy with a leaf, my stepson could not have been more bored with his head hanging low, and my husband and I barely acknowledged each other between all of the chaos. So I posted that one.
Now if only everyone shared the truth about their engagements, weddings, children, diets...we would all feel connected rather than in competition with each other. Of course, this is not something that will happen any time soon as it is not in our nature as humans to be proud of our flaws and show it all off. So until then, I am determined to give social media a break and see where it gets me. Maybe I will be happier, maybe I will be more in-the-moment or proud of what I have accomplished, what I do have or what I do want in my own life instead of comparing everything to others.
I was a social, independent, young woman with close relationships with my friends and family and a boyfriend at the time. I thought I was a pretty lucky girl who had it all, including the grades and a fun, part-time college job. What I didn't realize was that the more that others shared on their social media accounts, mainly Facebook, the more I would feel inadequate in all aspects of life. If I got a B on an exam, someone else would post their stellar A. If I posted a picture of myself at a party, someone would post a picture of themselves at two parties. If I said I loved my boyfriend, someone shared their engagement announcement. I could not seem to keep up with everyone else. Soon the life I did have didn't seem to be quite as romantic, exciting, fun or perfect as the rest of my Facebook friends'. And that thought process has stayed with me ever since.
Of course I know I'm blessed. I am very lucky. I could also be happy if I stayed away from the social media happiness of others. Notice I didn't say the happiness of others instead I am being very specific when I say the social media happiness of others. The exaggerated, in-your-face, fake happiness that people post to their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other forms of social networking sites and apps. I look around at my life some days; of my husband laughing with our son, sipping my morning coffee and feeling our second baby kicking and thinking "this is an amazing life". Then I just as quickly hop onto Facebook where I see a picture of that same moment I am having but in a nicer house or on a beach or everyone in matching outfits. I instantly reflect on how I could have had that same moment I was so happy in being even better.
This is what social media does. It makes people compete with each other rather than connect with one another. It does the opposite of what it was intended to do and it's because of our need to be the best. To have our children be the best. To have our lives be the best... even if it's forced...and that has changed social media's purpose. I would love to see some honesty. I tried this out for myself to see if it's something I am even capable of doing after years of "faking it". When it was time to do our second baby announcement, we had my cousin take some pictures of us. We ironed our shirts, did our hair, wore our new shoes and were all set to take those same exact pictures we have seen a million times over our Facebook walls over the years. You know, the ones of the children looking like living dolls as Mommy and Daddy look at each other lovingly, hands placed over their unborn child. In reality, my son didn't want to stay still, my stepson was distracted by my cousin's baby, and my husband and I were yelling and chasing both of them to get into the picture.
When the proofs came back, there were some greats shots that you see posted everywhere, but then there was one that summed up the truth of that entire day. My son was busy with a leaf, my stepson could not have been more bored with his head hanging low, and my husband and I barely acknowledged each other between all of the chaos. So I posted that one.
Now if only everyone shared the truth about their engagements, weddings, children, diets...we would all feel connected rather than in competition with each other. Of course, this is not something that will happen any time soon as it is not in our nature as humans to be proud of our flaws and show it all off. So until then, I am determined to give social media a break and see where it gets me. Maybe I will be happier, maybe I will be more in-the-moment or proud of what I have accomplished, what I do have or what I do want in my own life instead of comparing everything to others.
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