The New Normal.
Ever feel like you want to just scream? Runaway? Cry? Give up? Rip all of your hair out? Or ok, not all but maybe just like a chunk of hair out? Don't worry, so do I.
Once your baby stops that heavenly sleeping that lasts 3 hours at a time, multiple times a day, the hard stuff begins. I remember when my boy would sleep for HOURS and I would actually WANT him to wake up so I can see his handsome face. Now, I would give my left arm for him to take a damn nap! I'm not saying that in a mean or uncaring way, I'm saying it as a mother who needs to keep her sanity! The hardest job you will ever love is being a mom. So far it's been a huge adjustment for not just me, but my other new mom friends as well. I read all of the articles and books that try to prepare you for this thing called motherhood but once you have your baby, those books and paper print outs you read like your Bible for nine months, get thrown in the damn garbage. Or you try to return them to Barnes & Noble for your money back.
There is no real easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. This shit sucks! Not all of it. But watching your infant alone for 8-9 hours a day, for months is HARD. Don't let anyone ever try to make you feel bad for saying and feeling that. It is. Some days are easier than others. And some days your child will refuse to sleep and then cry all damn day because he just won't listen to you when you say "all you need to do is sleep. I promise you." But I guess that's the start of your child defying you as a parent.
When I talk to my fiance about it, I get all the support I need, but there's this lack of real understanding involved. You know the saying that you don't know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes? Well, they don't know motherhood until they've taken care of a newborn for 9 hours a day for four months. But, it's not their fault. Some men are just out there making the bacon. As for us mommies, we are left at home cursing at the pile of laundry that won't go away and yelling at inanimate objects, like your baby's swing. I would have thrown it out the window the other day had I been able to keep my baby calm long enough to do so. Then I thought, I cannot be the only mom who as ever had a meltdown about days like today. So, I called some friends...you know, just to be sure this wasn't a mental crisis.
I wasn't sure if I should do it. Half of me felt REALLY guilty for even thinking that I need a break. I began to feel like a terrible mother because I couldn't control my frustration. I felt like I was failing at something that I had wanted to achieve so bad. The other half of me knew I needed to. I needed to vent to another mom. I needed to let it all out because of all of the people I know in my life, they would know what the hell I was going through. If not, then I figured they'd at least recommend a comfy psychiatric facility I could go to.
But it helped. I spent today just talking to my mommy friends. I carried my boy on my hip, walked around the house and just let it all out. "He will not stop crying!" "He just needs to sleep." "He just threw up on me now!" Once on the verge of tears, we found ourselves laughing over how eerily similar our situations were! We all felt guilty for getting frustrated, we all thought we were suffering from some sort of late postpartum depression, we all were feeling trapped and useless during these moments. To me, I found that comforting. I relaxed long enough to not feel tense and to give off that vibe to my son and get him to relax as well and ta-da...he fell sound asleep!
Throughout my pregnancy and the beginning of motherhood, I was told everything would just come naturally. That all I had to do was look at him and know that it's all worth it. To an extent, that is true. But, it also comes naturally to have a nervous breakdown from all the crying and to want to throw a tantrum of my own when things aren't go smoothly. And yes, when I look at him and he smiles at me and laughs, it is all worth it. It's the in between times that I have been unprepared for. The guilt that you feel for feeling anything other than joy during new motherhood, that's what I wasn't ready for. But, it really helped to just talk other mothers who have been there and who are currently there and know that it's just normal. That this is the new normal. And I feel so much better about it. :)
Once your baby stops that heavenly sleeping that lasts 3 hours at a time, multiple times a day, the hard stuff begins. I remember when my boy would sleep for HOURS and I would actually WANT him to wake up so I can see his handsome face. Now, I would give my left arm for him to take a damn nap! I'm not saying that in a mean or uncaring way, I'm saying it as a mother who needs to keep her sanity! The hardest job you will ever love is being a mom. So far it's been a huge adjustment for not just me, but my other new mom friends as well. I read all of the articles and books that try to prepare you for this thing called motherhood but once you have your baby, those books and paper print outs you read like your Bible for nine months, get thrown in the damn garbage. Or you try to return them to Barnes & Noble for your money back.
There is no real easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. This shit sucks! Not all of it. But watching your infant alone for 8-9 hours a day, for months is HARD. Don't let anyone ever try to make you feel bad for saying and feeling that. It is. Some days are easier than others. And some days your child will refuse to sleep and then cry all damn day because he just won't listen to you when you say "all you need to do is sleep. I promise you." But I guess that's the start of your child defying you as a parent.
When I talk to my fiance about it, I get all the support I need, but there's this lack of real understanding involved. You know the saying that you don't know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes? Well, they don't know motherhood until they've taken care of a newborn for 9 hours a day for four months. But, it's not their fault. Some men are just out there making the bacon. As for us mommies, we are left at home cursing at the pile of laundry that won't go away and yelling at inanimate objects, like your baby's swing. I would have thrown it out the window the other day had I been able to keep my baby calm long enough to do so. Then I thought, I cannot be the only mom who as ever had a meltdown about days like today. So, I called some friends...you know, just to be sure this wasn't a mental crisis.
I wasn't sure if I should do it. Half of me felt REALLY guilty for even thinking that I need a break. I began to feel like a terrible mother because I couldn't control my frustration. I felt like I was failing at something that I had wanted to achieve so bad. The other half of me knew I needed to. I needed to vent to another mom. I needed to let it all out because of all of the people I know in my life, they would know what the hell I was going through. If not, then I figured they'd at least recommend a comfy psychiatric facility I could go to.
But it helped. I spent today just talking to my mommy friends. I carried my boy on my hip, walked around the house and just let it all out. "He will not stop crying!" "He just needs to sleep." "He just threw up on me now!" Once on the verge of tears, we found ourselves laughing over how eerily similar our situations were! We all felt guilty for getting frustrated, we all thought we were suffering from some sort of late postpartum depression, we all were feeling trapped and useless during these moments. To me, I found that comforting. I relaxed long enough to not feel tense and to give off that vibe to my son and get him to relax as well and ta-da...he fell sound asleep!
Throughout my pregnancy and the beginning of motherhood, I was told everything would just come naturally. That all I had to do was look at him and know that it's all worth it. To an extent, that is true. But, it also comes naturally to have a nervous breakdown from all the crying and to want to throw a tantrum of my own when things aren't go smoothly. And yes, when I look at him and he smiles at me and laughs, it is all worth it. It's the in between times that I have been unprepared for. The guilt that you feel for feeling anything other than joy during new motherhood, that's what I wasn't ready for. But, it really helped to just talk other mothers who have been there and who are currently there and know that it's just normal. That this is the new normal. And I feel so much better about it. :)
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