A Few Truths About Parenting

It seems like everyone is pregnant today. Like everyone went to sleep last night and woke up expecting a bundle of joy. I was always told about how your love for your child is unlike anything you will ever have and that you are forever changed and all of that is true. But everything else changes too and for new expectant moms out there, I feel like you are not being given the full details on what happens after. Keep reading.

1) You will love your baby the minute they put him in your arms.

It's true. Everything about this. True. 

2) The first few hours after giving birth are the most precious you will ever have with your new family.

You will be the happiest you have ever been, even while scared to death. Your baby and partner will be sleeping and you will look around that hospital room and really feel like the luckiest woman in the entire world. Hold on to that memory. Cherish it. You earned it and it's completely yours. You will yearn for this feeling over and over again but rarely experience it.

3) Your relationship with your child's father will change...for the worst...at least for a little while.

You will be tired. He will be tired. The stresses of parenthood will cause fights and I mean fights. Even the strongest and happiest of couples will have their battles in the first year of parenthood. You will both be short tempered and stressed and scared and unsure. Hint: you will both threaten divorce or a break up a few times. You will say mean things and hurt one another. You can survive this however. And don't worry, aside from those over-the-top, dramatic fights, you will both love each other in a new and different way because of this perfect being you two created together. Then you'll get really crazy and try for Baby #2!

4) You will be a panicking mess for the rest of your life.

Every cry, bump, bruise, tear, cough or sneeze will send you running to Webmd. You will be Google-ing everything so have a really good data plan in place. All those books you read during your pregnancy will mean nothing to you now. As far as you're concerned they were a waste of money and time (yet you will give them to the next pregnant woman you see) because no matter how many times you read "this is normal", you will call your pediatrician on a regular basis, so pick a good one.  

5) Your hormones take a long time to go back to normal.

You don't just get back into bed with your husband. You will feel disgusting for one and for two, your hormones will be so out of whack you won't know whether to strangle him or sleep with him. You will also be so exhausted that neither seems like the logical choice. Not only will your sex drive diminish, but you will still cry over all of those lame commercials and Facebook posts you cried over during your pregnancy. This lasts a long time. Hopefully your partner will be patient and understanding and hey, maybe as exhausted as you so he won't even notice.

6) You will lose friends.

Not everyone loves a baby. Your friends (although supportive the entire time) will suddenly disappear from  your life because they just can't handle you having different priorities now. Especially those with no children at all, they will have a hard time finding something in common with you and will start to be annoyed by your constant stories or pictures of your baby. They just cannot relate to you and grow distant. Good riddance, I say.

7) You will always feel guilty.

If you take a shower, if you go to the store, if you go to work, if you stay home, no matter what you do you will always feel guilty. Any time spent away from your baby seems to make you more deserving of the Worst Mother Of The Year Award. There is just no stopping this damn feeling.

8) You will have a whole new set of priorities.

If chipped nail polish or unwashed hair bother you, you are not ready for a baby.

9) You will have a new perspective on time.
 
You will blink and suddenly your child is 1. How? You feel that came and went so soon. The rest of your life will feel like this. You will try to invent that time machine Marty McFly used. I'm searching Craigslist for a DeLorean as I type this post.

10) You will never have "you" time.

Even those 10 minute showers will not be yours. You will be thinking about your baby. Plus, your baby is just so damn cute who could blame you?

There are many more, but these are just a few to get you going.