My Biggest Fears About A Potential Second Baby

1) Gaining The Weight

With my only child, I gained weight, I didn't keep track of how much exactly because I refused to weigh myself but a year later I still have 25 lbs to go. It's my fault for not working out or eating as healthy as I should. So for the next time I'm scared to death of ballooning up to another say 25lbs. And it all creeped up on me in my last two months, I did not see it coming.

2) Can I Love Anyone As Much As I Love My Son?

I cannot describe how much I love my child. I cannot imagine having enough love to share it with another baby. I'm sure I will but right now it is just hard to imagine that I have that big of a heart.

3)Postpartum...

Postpartum absolutely sucked. That gross, disgusting feeling you feel for weeks and the foreign body you are left to stare at. I hate that feeling of not recognizing my own body and hoping my husband still finds me attractive and the people on the street won't think I'm a whale. Yes, I am one of those superficial people who care what others think at times, especially when I feel vulnerable and I was very vulnerable after giving birth. 

4) Finances.

Let's face it, everything costs money. Diapers, wipes, formula, clothing and that's just for one baby. Add the cost of a toddler and two parents and a stepson and we have our plate full. There is always room for adjustments but at the same time (I feel guilty for saying this) I like how we live now and don't want to cut too far back. 

However with all of these fears, I cannot help but get excited at the possibility of growing our family. It's what I believe we are meant to do. I also know that women are survivors. We are warriors. Anything you give us, we can figure out a way to handle it, especially mothers. So while these little things do cross my mind when thinking of the possibility of a second child, I know that I have handled and will continue to handle it.