Initiation

It's official. I'm one of them. I now belong to an elite group of women. Ones who are both loved and feared. The mothers who bring their children to the fucking park.

I sit here surrounded by women dressed in the "mom" uniform. You know the type. Gym clothes, sneakers, diaper bag full of an arsenal of snacks, bug spray and antibacterial gel. Most hold a stuffed animal in one hand and an iced latte in the other. Why these women dress like they JUST stepped out of the pages of Fitness magazine is beyond me. They know and I know that they have no intention of stepping foot in a gym. THIS is their workout; sitting on a shaded bench, gossiping with each other about their children, husbands, nannies and teachers. Occasionally they show some form of interaction with their kids and they do this by telling them to keep playing so they can finish their exercise of running their mouths. I've been here for an hour and I already want to shoot myself. 

Then you have the mothers who care a little too much. They follow their child's every move. The poor kid's only social interaction is with their mother... Doesn't that defeat the purpose of bringing them out to the park?

The only people I see myself relating to are the park dads. They keep a safe distance, don't gossip or yell or dress like they are about to head to Planet Fitness after all this. 

I seem to be ill prepared for this. I am not dressed for a workout nor do I have any intention on giving off that false appearance. I also feel no need in drinking a latte as I already plan on needing a stronger beverage after all this experience!  

Fortunately, I am now aware of what to expect next time I have the brilliant idea to take my son and stepson to the park these days. But the initiation process was both awkward and hilarious...

I'll be sure to dress to fit in next time! ;)

Even my boy was trying to drink away the weirdness of this scene. Good idea son.