Things No One Really Tells You About During and After Birth...

For those of you who do not have a planned c-section date to meet your little one, the labor process is a lot different. You are on your own just waiting and wondering. In an instant, your whole world stops and no matter how prepared you thought you were for your big day, you will soon realize you have no idea what the hell is going on. 

Your mind begins to race and you suddenly have no clue how to begin to handle this: 

Is that a contraction? Should I start counting? How do I count? Did my water break? No? What's leaking out of me? I'm bleeding! Is this normal? Should I go to the hospital? Where's my Doctor's phone number? Dr. Who? You aren't my Doctor! 

I know that every labor experience is different. No two pregnancies are a like. The after math however, is pretty damn similar so I'm surprised no one really talks to you about it. Sure, your doctor will tell you you will have to give up sex for 6 weeks, no heavy lifting, etc... but they leave a hell of a lot out. I don't know if women are just too ashamed to talk about what you go through afterwards or if they simply don't want to remember it, but I can tell you that if someone would have told me EVERYTHING, it really could have helped me out a bit.

Let's start with the fun part, the BIG DAY. I can only tell you how it happened for me so, you may be able to relate. On a Tuesday, I felt as though something came out of me. I passed my mucus plug. I wasn't sure if I did, but I called my doctor's office and got examined and sure enough, that's what it was (thank you "What To Expect..." you did explain that pretty well). 

On a Thursday night, I began to feel cramps in my back. They were weak, but noticeable. I had also noticed that I began spotting a bit. I freaked out for a little and called my doctor in the middle of the night, but aware that this could be my bloody show, I wasn't too panicked, just anxious. Was this when the baby comes now!? I asked. Nope. The doctor said I needed contractions. And holy shit, did I get them!

I was not sure what a contraction would feel like. I was told by my doctors and friends that I would just know. Like it's some sensation you have never felt before and if I miss it then there's something wrong with me. Well, then I guess there was something wrong with me, because all I felt were mild period cramps. FOR DAYS! Those cramps were actually contractions and they began to get stronger and more frequent as the hours went by. I thought contractions hurt your entire stomach and would feel like someone was stabbing you right away. But nope, they come soft at first and then increase in severity as you get closer. I had a stinging pain (down there) for weeks but even that pain was tolerable. I didn't ignore it, I just was told that the pain of it all would be so excruciating that that's how I would know I was in labor. So I kept waiting.

Of course for the next two days they got worse and were coming every 6 minutes. I also didn't know if my water broke. I was told it would feel like a leak. Well, I thought I was leaking for a while, but that was just the rest of my mucus plug  (apparently you can lose it all at once or a little here and there). I called my doctor, went to the hospital and got examined. Finally, I was in active labor, which meant I was 2 cm dialted (the stinging pain) and my contractions were about 5 minutes apart and really beginning to hurt now. They were worse than period cramps, but still, I could talk through them and move around a bit.

I was in the hospital on the bed just trying to speed up dilation, had just went for a walk around the maternity floor with my fiance and POP! That POP, was something I will never forget. THAT was my water breaking. It was a gush of water, a warm sensation and it lasted for the entire labor processes. Here and there more water would come out. The show was on the road. My contractions got so much more intense after that. I couldn't even concentrate on breathing or speaking, it hurt THAT MUCH! Now, that's the feeling I was told I would feel. Luckily, I listened to my fiance's instincts and went to the hospital when they were weaker because I am telling you, if I waited for this feeling (like I had been told to the first time I went to be checked) I would have KILLED someone.

I know I was screaming in pain and felt as though my baby was ripping out of me. Finally a nurse came in and asked if would like pain medication. Ummm... you're F'ing right I did! I took the epidural (THANK GOODNESS) and what people may not tell you is that you are not allowed to move. You cannot have anyone in the room with you while you go through contractions and have a needle stuck into your spine, all while staying perfectly still. Good luck, ladies. Oh and one more thing... you will also get a catheter. That feeling was pleasant too.

After all the pushing and my baby finally arriving, it was time for the after birth. Once again I was told that I would not feel any of this because my mind would be so focused on the new baby and what I had just done. But I felt everything with the after birth. It was like a magician's ribbon being pulled out of me and my contractions continued a bit more. I then got stitches, got the catheter removed and then the fun part began...POSTPARTUM.

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I will tell you this ladies...if you thought you felt disgusting and fat before...you just wait until you are recovering from birth for the next 6 weeks. You will look like Jack The Ripper paid you a visit and forgot to finish the job. You will also look about 6 months pregnant. Your boobs will swell two sizes and hurt like absolute HELL. The worst is when the anesthesiologist comes back around to take out the epidural. You thought childbirth was bad? Try having tape ripped off of your entire back, slowly and quickly and then slowly again. I believe that hurt worst than the actual labor.

Because I had a vaginal delivery, I was able to get up and walk around shortly after. I did have stitches so I had to be a bit cautious. You will also need to take care of yourself down there a bit more carefully. Swelling, pain and itching will all last for weeks. Ice packs, Dermoplast, warm baths and even tucks will become your best friends for a while. So STOCK UP! You will need these pretty much for a few weeks. You will pass blood clots and they will be large! If they are as big as a baseball, call your OB-GYN. But if they are small to medium, you are perfectly normal, lucky you.

You will also be on a hormonal roller-coaster. Ecstatic one minute and in tears the next. Both happy tears and tears of exhaustion. By my fourth week the bleeding finally stopped. By the 6th, the unforgettable, annoying itch that kept you up in the middle of the night along with your newborn will go away.Your uterus will have shrunk back down to size (think of a closed fist). And if you're lucky, you will have the green light to begin living your normal life again. Except, you will have stretch marks, extra flab and still suffer from emotional instability. I still have days where I cannot believe how happy I am and then I have days where I cannot believe how much has changed. I'll love my body for what it's done and hate it for what it's become. It's a tug of war for a while, but if you have depression or thoughts of suicide, NOT NORMAL...call your doctor asap!

Basically, you will feel gross for a while. And ladies, if your man tells you that you look beautiful, just try and believe him. I know it's hard. I doubted it every single time he complimented me. But even though you went through the craziest experience your mind and body has ever gone through for the first time, to him, it was a miracle and you are a Goddess for what you gave him. Your baby. :) And in the end, you will forget about the actual pain and be left with nothing but joy!


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